


The Bullet

by xlannax



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Charlie Ships It, Dean is a Sweetheart, Fluff and Angst, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-21
Updated: 2017-09-29
Packaged: 2019-01-03 20:18:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 5,419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12154053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xlannax/pseuds/xlannax
Summary: Tragedy. That was it when Dean died in his arms under a soft light of street lamps, on a cold asphalt soaked with rain. Castiel didn't expect to see him in his dreams so much alive and happy after his body had been buried deep down in worm-eaten ground. In those dreams where Dean starts to appear more real, with pills darkening his confused mind and the world slowly collapsing around him, how can Castiel even tell what's real and what's a dream anymore?





	1. The Office

**Author's Note:**

> Hi and thanks for opening this little story. First, English isn't my first language so I'm apologizing for any mistakes you will probably find. Second, updates won't be so often so be aware. I will try my best and write as much as I can and hopefully someday we will even reach the end of this fanfic. Just kidding. I'll be unbelievably happy if you leave a comment or give this a heart. For a writer is so pleasing when he sees at least some feedback.

Castiel sighed and tore his heavy eyes from the radiating computer screen at which he was boredly starring for the past few hours. He closed his eyes for a moment to let them rest a bit in a peaceful darkness behind his eyelids, covering them with hand just to make sure that black stays really black. He would give everything to be somewhere else than here. In this… shitty job he didn’t want to be anyway. Sitting in a horrifyingly tiny cubicle, starring into a monitor all day, scrolling through endless amount of numbers, counting, rewriting what had been already rewritten once - this was his job. And he hated it. But you gotta do what you gotta do, as Dean liked to say when he was complaining too much. And he just had to nod with agreement and a faint smile, knowing it just won’t be different.

There were people that had it even worse so he shouldn’t be bitching around. Keeping his mouth mostly shut he just carried on, taking the money he earned and then tossed them again in things he needed to pay for. So amazing was this world of adults. It was long time ago when he got his first slap from that cruel world and nearly ended in the street because he couldn’t pay for his apartment. Yes, that was long time ago. It really knocked him down on his knees while he was losing his young mind in a dreamy clouds. Little wonder he ended here. Luckily, he made strong bounds with another souls from here. True friends for life he dared to say.

Castiel forced himself to look back at the screen with black numbers swarming like ants. Such a pleasant view he had. He was interrupted with a gentle knock which made his head turn over his shoulders.

“Lunch time,” Charlie happily sing-songed, holding just for a second carefully onto the paper thin wall of his cubicle as she slightly leaned over and then disappeared into the narrow corridor.

“Ugh, finally,” Castiel whispered to himself as he stood up and made his way with others.

When Castiel walked into the cozy room with counters and fridge, Charlie was already sitting at the table, holding seats for them. He like usually made his way to the small fridge but stopped in a halfway when a wave of realization hit him. Oh, yeah, he had forgotten to buy something for a lunch actually. He turned back and with heavy feet and feeling like the whole world just worked against him he dragged himself to Charlie, sinking down on the chair opposite to her.

Charlie raised her eyebrows at him, “Should I ask… ?”

“Better not,” he folded his arms.

Castiel’s eyes wandered around, landing on others while they were eating. Some guy just walked past them with something that smelled amazing. His stomach growled quietly as his nose caught that mystery smell. Charlie opened her box, maybe with some salad as Castiel recognized with a quick peek. She pulled out her phone first and after she had typed something fast, she laid it on the table and started eating.

“Are you on a health kick or something?” Castiel raised his eyebrows at her with a surprise.

“Maybe?” she heavily swallowed and grinned with disgust. “How can they eat this? It doesn’t even have taste or anything.”

Castiel’s uncomfortable silence and questionable gaze made Charlie sign with annoyance, “I didn’t wanna anybody to know but you know Rachel? That blonde skinny fancy girl? Yeah, that bitch. She called me fat,” Charlie gave him a look with flames igniting in her irises.

“Goddammit, Charlie, you’re not fat,” Castiel shook his head.

“I know!” Charlie threw her hands in the air which was kinda dangerous as she was holding onto a fork.

“So why are you eating this?”

“I wanna show her I can live healthy too. No big deal.”

Castiel bit his bottom lip, deciding to support this foolish plan or destroy it right in its begging. “You know that’s kinda lame, right? I think she’ll be more pissed off if you keep eating Chinese food and fast food and whatever else and still look good like you do. If she needs to starve on this, you’re the winner.”

Charlie smirked, “Oh, you know me good,” she quickly looked into her lunch box, “Guess I’m quitting now.”

Castiel smiled and shifted on his chair.

“Hey, guys” Kevin rushed to them and sat down next to Charlie, slamming folds with papers onto the table.

“Rush morning?” Castiel frowned at him.

“Didn’t even stop for a second,” Kevin scanned Cas with a little frown, “Castiel, your tie is backwards.”

“What? No, it’s fine -,” Castiel looked down on his chest, “Oh… Charlie, you let me walk around like this?” he quickly snapped at her.

She just shrugged, obviously pleased with herself. Castiel shook his head slightly and loosened his tie a bit with intent to fix it.

“Whoa, Cas, at least let me buy you a dinner before you start stripping your clothes,” Dean’s smooth voice echoed behind him with a played surprise as he walked to them and sat next to Castiel.

“Shut up,” Castiel murmured without even looking at him, pulling his tie from his neck.

“Made me,” Dean smirked and gave him that flirtatious look with a spark of challenge in his smiling eyes.

Oh, how much would Castiel like to go along with this but he was hungry and angry and not in a mood to flirt with Dean Winchester.

“Come on, Mr. Frowny Face, don’t be such a bore,” Dean joked, “Here, got you some fries.”

Castiel looked suspiciously at the fries that Dean slide in front of him. “Why did you get me fries?” he pointed at them with his tie crumpled in a fist.

“Charlie texted me that you forgot to bring your food… again,” Dean unwrapped his burger from the paper and carefully like it was something precious he grabbed it in his hands, “and that you look like a shit,” he murmured and quickly turned to him, biting into his burger, “So I figured fries will do the trick.”

Castiel just tilted his head and opened his mouth but he couldn’t come up with anything to say.

“Don’t thank me,” Charlie smiled sweetly while she stabbed the green leaf of something with a fork and looked at it long.

Castiel let out a sharp sigh and just went with it, “So thanks… I guess,” he shrugged, “But if you guys conspire against me again I will consider the end of my friendship with you,” he eyed both of them seriously.

“Technically it was for you, not against you,” Kevin added without any interest, starring at his mobile while his fingers danced fast over the screen as he was typing something.

“See, sweetheart?” Charlie grinned and stuffed the salad inside her mouth, immediately regretting it.

Â “Is that a salad?” Dean looked down on the table with a despite and faked horror in his eyes.

Charlie nodded, covering her mouth like she was about to vomit. “And I won’t do the same mistake again.”

“Why are you even doing this?” Dean hardly mumbled with a full mouth.

“Long story short, it’s for a revenge but enough of me,” Charlie leaned forward, looking directly at Castiel who was now struggling with his tie, “Something is going on with you, Castiel.”

Cas somehow fixed his tie in a second now and with a curious look he reciprocate the gaze, “Yeah? And what should it be?” He leaned forward a bit too and got a chance to finally deliver some fries into his mouth.

“You forgot lunch again, your tie was backward and it’s all crumpled as same as your shirt…,” Charlie counted on her fingers, “you have that morning bed hair and past these days you were incredibly a pain in our asses.”

Kevin chuckled and put his phone on the table, finally giving his all attention to the conversation.

“So what’s going on?”

“Okay, uh… I just didn’t get much sleep these past nights,” Castiel simply shrugged, getting quite uncomfortable with this.

“Ohh, that must’ve been pretty damn busy nights… so what’s his name?” Charlie smirked and tilted her head.

Castiel immediately stopped, always surprised with Charlie’s forwardness when she was demanding answers. With a corner of his eye he could tell from Dean’s stiffed figure that he was surprised as same as him even though Dean’d known her longer. “Wait, what? What are you talking about?” Castiel shook his head.

“I thought that was what you meant with getting no sleep,” she pouted her lips innocently.

"No! I’m… not sleeping with anybody. I’m just overworked, " Cas frowned, “Jeez, Charlie.” He rubbed his cheek that were slowly getting warmer.

“Sorry, sorry,” she put her hands slightly up, her eyes wandered quickly next to Cas. Corner of her lips twitched in a smile. “But are you sure you don’t wanna tell us about something?”

Cas grinned, “No? First I want to know how your ‘deduction skills’ could assume I’m sleeping with someone.”

“Science,” she simply shrugged it off.

“What?”

Dean stood up quite fast, crumpling the paper into a ball, “I, uh… I gotta go. They hired a new guy and I’m looking after him so… I should check what that douche screwed this time.”

“Oh… okay…,” Cas turned his head to him, completely confused what’d just happened and lost between Charlie’s reply. “See you tomorrow?”

“Like always,” Dean gave him a quick smile and turned his back at them.

“Wait, I need to use your printer quick,” Kevin hurried after him.

“Dude, again? Don’t you have your own?” Dean walked with Kevin closely following him into a crowd, both of them losing from Cas’ view.

Charlie finally decided to seal her lunch box and put it in a fridge again.

“You’re not going to throw it into a trash can?” Cas joined her at her way to their cubicles.

“I thought about giving it to some homeless on my way home.”

“They will probably end up poisoned.”

“Probably.”

They avoided a few people that were in a hurry and carried on their way. “Charlie, what was that all about?” Castiel stopped her when they were before his cubicle.

“What do you mean?”

Cas shifted on his feet and looked around, folding his arms he leaned closer and lowered his voice a bit, “About me sleeping with a guy. It’s just… why did you dragged that up? You know I don’t have any relationship or whatever.”

“Did you see Dean?” Charlie smiled at him like she knew something he should know too.

Cas frowned, “What the hell does Dean do with it? For God’s sake, Charlie, sometimes I don’t catch your thoughts at all.”

“So you didn’t see it?”

Castiel rolled his eyes and went quickly into his cubicle, hoping Charlie would get that he don’t want to talk about Dean.

“When are you finally gonna ask Dean out?” Charlie followed him inside and looked at him with a genuine interest and straight face.

Cas sighed, “I’m not going to do that.”

“Why not?” Charlie threw her hands in the air, “Dean is totally into you and don’t you think I can’t see that eye fucking whenever you guys stare at each other.”

"I know he likes me - " Castiel admitted carefully.

“And you like him,” Charlie interrupted him, “See? You two should’ve been already together and married or whatever. So where is the damn problem?”

“I don’t even know if he is into guys.”

“All I can hear is just excuses,” Charlie raised her chin. “From my perspective he is at least into you. And if you want to be sure, I don’t know, ask him?

“Charlie....” Castiel rubbed his forehead, wishing she was finally gone. “Even if he was, I still can’t.”

“Can’t or won’t?” she pouted her lips, her eyes flickered with a small win for her.

Cas licked his lips and put his hands on hips, he was getting tired of her trying to get him together with Dean. “Look, I want to be with Dean, really I would like to if it was possible, but… he’s my best friend. And if I ever let us be… something more than friends it will just screw us,” he sighed as Charlie rolled her eyes at him. “Charlie, I’m not lucky in relationships. They simply don’t work for me and they ends quickly with a heart break, every time. And I don’t want that with Dean. I can’t lose him like that. So if not losing him means staying only like friends, you know I would rather stay like that.”

“Maybe it won’t be same with you two,” Charlie tried to convince him after a minute of silence.

“Can’t risk that,” Castiel smiled sadly.

Charlie sighed and shook her head slightly, “You two just… never mind,” she waved her hand. “Do whatever you want I’m heading back to work.”

When Charlie turned on her heals and left, Castiel sat heavily on his chair again, checking where he left off. And there just disappeared all the fun. He not so happily drowned himself into a black and white world of numbers and letters.

He was just reading another email, maybe 20th in a row, when he heard a printer turning on and printing something. He lazily ride on his chair across the small space between his stool and the printer. He was expecting a fax from Ryan, so when the paper popped out he just grabbed it and with a certain stereotype rushed through the text. And again. And again. Now with more focus he realized the more time he look into this the more things didn’t fit. Like this was a complete mess.

Nothing matched. “What is this?,” Castiel frowned, his eyes scanned the page again, “What the hell…”

This wasn’t for him, or for a department he was in at least. It seemed more like a work for the others. Was this the new guy’s fault?

“I should go after Dean,” he starred mindlessly into the white paper. He won’t lie, thought of meeting with him again filled his body with unexpected warm. “Yeah, I need Dean,” he stood up with a new energy.

Castiel quickly left his cubicle and walked through the sea of white walls surrounding him with the paper carefully folded in hand. He pasted a plain corridor which connected two departments still in a same hurry. When he stepped into the other hall he slowed rapidly quick. He didn’t remember where the hell was Dean’s cubicle. He will wander here forever.

Stopping he tried to look over the whole hall from distance, swinging on his tiptoes like it would get him a better view. He hoped that he could get a sight of Dean’s head somewhere, at least. Although his eyes were exploring intensely, trying to spot really anything familiar, he couldn’t find him. He noticed the strange looks he received from a people who were near him. Castiel drew his lips into a thin line and ran away from their gaze, sulking into a narrow corridor once again.

He walked slowly, looking around and peeking quickly into every goddamn cubicle. He wanted this little adventure on which he even didn’t have to go by the way to be over. People were giving him questionable looks, starring after him. Their gazes thrust into his back and settled there like intrusive itch he wanted to scratch. From his perspective he wasn’t welcomed here.

First he almost overlooked Dean. He did look into his cubicle but automatically continued in walking. Once realizing it, Castiel immediately stopped and stumbled backwards a few steps. He found him, finally. He didn’t want to sneak up on him, but somehow he couldn’t just make a sound. Literally first time he was so nervous around Dean that he couldn’t speak. An excellent moment for his brain to stop working. Dean even didn’t see him step in, with his back turned to him and one hand behind his head. It could be like two seconds that were just dragging themselves for Cas’ taste too long when he finally made a move and cleared his throat unexpectedly loudly.

Dean turned on his chair right away, jumping a little bit too. “Dammit, Cas,” he murmured, grabbing after his heart and turning away a bit, “I’m gonna have heart attack one day.”

"Sorry, I didn’t want to - " he stopped when Dean’s face looked up at him again, “You have glasses?”

Dean’s lips curved into a sarcastic smile, “No, I just stole them from one guy to look smarter, what do you think?”

Cas rolled his eyes, “I mean… I didn’t know you had one.”

Dean pushed the glasses slightly up his nose, “I got them recently,” he admitted and chuckled, “Couldn’t see the damn numbers at screen, can you imagine that? Luckily I don’t have to wear them all the time... so just here.”

“You look… good. They suit you,” Castiel tilted his head slightly and smiled. Was he serious? Goddammit, ‘good’ definitely wasn’t the word that could describe him. Cas couldn’t decide if Dean’s eyes really shined more under the black thin frames or not. And how perfectly they framed and formed Dean’s face. He could still go on, because more he was observing him the more he could find other little things that just made his appearance frickin’ hot. How could he be even more handsome?

Dean sighed with half-smile, “I don’t know, man, I’m getting old.”

“I wouldn’t say that,” Cas frowned and watched Dean stood up.

“So?” Dean approached him and placed his hands on hips.

“So what?”

Dean quickly licked his lips, which Cas followed with his gaze, and scratched his forehead, “You ain’t here for a chat, right? So?”

“Yes, um… I think that hired guy send me something from your department. Not sure but look,” Castiel handed him the folded paper which Dean grabbed and opened it, just a second took him to scan it up and down.

“Son of a bitch,” Dean sighed under his breath, his shoulders dropped down a bit, “I’m gonna punch him in his face.”

That was it. Cas just realized how was Dean fed up with that new guy and how pissed and tired off he actually was.

“Sorry, one time I’m not looking after his ass and he does this,” Dean shook his head slightly, rubbing his forehead, and gave Cas tired look.

“Are you gonna be in trouble because of him?” Castiel inched his head a bit closer.

“Hope not,” Dean gave a half shrug and looked away for a second. He brought his attention back to Cas right away, his lips curved into one of his confident half smiles, “You worry about me?”

“What? No, no,” Castiel sneered, putting his hands on hips while shaking his head slightly.

Dean leaned closer, that smug smile never leaving his face, “Oh really?”

Castiel looked slightly up with a sassy answer on the tip of his tongue but it just got stuck deep inside his throat as his eyes focused on Dean. Looking at him with his face so close he could almost sense his breath blowing on his cheeks, made his poor brain stop working, again. His smile slowly faded, leaving his lips slightly parted, as he scanned Dean’s face. He was close. Damn. Castiel just imagined this situation would perfectly fit into some romantic movie with all these craps. He could see how Dean’s eyes kinda darkened when he realized how close they actually were, but he didn’t pull away. Wait… Was he leaning closer? Crazy and… not so innocent thoughts and imaginations crossed through Cas’ mind within a second. He won’t kiss him, right? Not here, not now.

Dean’s lips twitched with a smirk as he raised his eyebrows, “Is there like anything else?”

“Uh… No, ,” Castiel leaned back, managing to take control over his voice. “I should - I should go,” he half turned and stepped backwards. Dean nodded in response which Castiel considered like an end of their talk, facing now the entrance of the cubicle he walked away.

“Cas.”

“Yes?” he quickly looked back.

“Come visit me anytime,” Dean winked at him with a half smile.

Goddammit… Dean. Castiel smiled back with a quick nod but walked away in rush to return into the safety of his own cubicle where he could get over the conversation few minutes ago.


	2. The Parking Lot

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter, a bit shorter but another will be longer and more interesting.

Castiel worked the remaining hours of terror in front of his computer, silently complaining about his life. Even though his mind was still overwhelmed with different images and thoughts of Dean he managed to keep working as usual. Somehow. Castiel like usually used to meet up with Charlie somewhere on the way to a parking lot. She always got him a ride to his flat, sometimes staying for some time.

“Hey,” she tapped on his shoulder and caught up with him.

“Hi,” Cas slowed down a bit, “do you have time for a quick drink?”

“Uh… actually no. I don’t even know if I can get you home.”

“Oh, you have plans?”

“My…aunt I’ve never told you about phoned me and she needs me so you know, family’s calling… I’m heading to her right now,” she dig up from her purse keys, approaching her parked car. “You can catch up with Dean and he can get you a ride home,” she opened the car door and tossed the purse on the back seat.

Castiel chew up on his bottom lip, putting his hands into pockets and watched Charlie getting into the car. He stepped aside as the motor started running and Charlie drove out from the parking lot. She gave him last quick wave before she drove away.

Castiel took a deep breath of that fresh city air, his lungs filling with a soft hidden dust, and bowed down his head with an exhale. He looked up again and observed the parking lot around him. It was like looking for Dean back at the building all again.

Clearly familiar creak of car doors being opened sounded surprisingly nearby the place where he was standing. With a quick look around he spotted Dean, just giving something at the backseat or maybe getting something out of there, he couldn’t really tell. He made his way to him before he would drive away. Dean luckily noticed him right when he was looking around quickly after he had slammed the back door. Dean leaned against the car and waited for him to come closer.

“Charlie kicked you out?” Dean called over the noise of some car passing by as Castiel rushed closer, rolling the sleeves of his plain shirt up.

“Yes… She has some important things, you know,” he half shrugged and joined Dean by his car.

“You wanna ride home?” Dean cocked his head at him.

Castiel blew out a sigh, “I mean… I can take a bus. It’s fine,” he waved his hand.

“Come on, you’re not gonna take a bus when you have me,” Dean put on an offended tone.

He shook his head, “You would have to drive to my flat and then all the way back to your place. That’s just stupid.”

“I don’t care,” Dean shrugged and folded his arms.

“It will be just better if I take a bus, really.”

“Cas,” Dean’s voice started to grow more threatening, “No way I’m gonna let you drive in that shitty thing even if I have to stuff you inside the trunk.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” Castiel teased, giving him challenging look.

Dean’s corner of his lip twitched up, “Wanna bet?”

“Fine,” he gave his consent, holding his hands up in the air in surrender.

“Good,” Dean bobbed his head slightly, digging his hand into a pocket of his jeans and pulled out packet of cigarettes.

Castiel meanwhile leaned against the car right next to Dean who was just searching for something in the other pocket with a cigarette lazily hanging between his lips. Pulling out a lighter and swiping it quickly with thumb, he aimed the little flame to the end of the cigarette. In a moment was Dean happily blowing the smoke in the air. Castiel rather moved his eyes around the parking lot which was getting emptier every minute than stare at Dean.

However, he had to turn back when something lightly bumped into his arm. It was Dean’s hand holding the packet in his director, “You want some?” he offered.

Castiel looked at the slightly crumpled box. Should he take one? He hadn’t smoked in a long time and this wasn’t the right moment to embarrass himself in front of Dean. But yeah, this was one shitty day in a bunch of other shitty days so why not. He needed a bit of distraction too.

“Yeah,” he pulled resolutely one out, capturing it between his lips.

Dean right away flicked the lighter and put it in front odd his mouth, lightening the cigarette for him. Cas breathed deeply in and out. With a bit of need he breathed in again, finally recognizing that bit of a nicotine rushing inside his lungs. He closed his eyes just for a while, imprisoning the warm air inside like in a cell, and with a exhale he set the smoke free, letting even himself relax for that moment. Most of the stress just dropped from his broad shoulders as he sighed and stretched his neck a bit.

“You really needed that one, huh?” Dean smiled, bringing his cigarette back to his lips.

“Yeah,” Castiel nodded slightly, his eyes settled on his hand as he tapped the cigarette and then followed the dust whirling its way down onto the warm ground.

This was perfect. He was just with Dean, blowing the smoke into the air silently, and that was exactly what he needed. Silence, even just a few minutes of quiet time, with person he liked. And like this it was perfect.

“Hi,” cute blonde woman, apparently from Dean’s department, approached a car parked next to Dean’s beloved Impala.

Castiel tensed again, not expecting anybody to talk to them. Well, to Dean.

“Hey, Jo,” Dean gave her one of his confident smiles, “Heading home?”

“Yes,” she walked pass Cas without even looking at him, stopping in front of Dean instead,” because no one asked me out tonight.”

Castiel watched her, more like stared at her, how she so delicately tilted her head, tossed her silky hair back and locked her eyes with Dean’s, who seemed at least for a second completely mesmerized and lost in her appearance.

Jo leaned closer, so close her breasts were rubbing against Dean’s torso , “I was wondering when we do something together again,” she trailed with her finger against Dean’s shirt, making small ornaments. Maybe it was a secret message between her and Dean. Something that only them could understand. Or she was just seeking for his attention by a touch.

“Someday,” Dean smirked, “and maybe we can skip right into the funny parts.”

She smiled, finally pulling away, “Don’t make me wait too long.” Jo turned away, still looking over her shoulder at Dean with her flirty eyes and those long eyelashes.

Castiel never met her but something on her couldn’t let him to like her. Maybe if she hadn’t clung herself onto Dean them maybe he would be just fine with her. But as she was walking past him, she looked at him for the first time and Castiel knew. He looked after her, watching her getting inside her car and driving away. When she was gone, all the tension she caused dropped from his shoulders.

“What is it?” Dean asked after he had blew out the smoke in the air, looking down at the small left over of his cigarette.

“What?” Castiel turned his head at him with a frown.

“Is something wrong?” Dean locked his eyes with him.

Castiel hesitated for a second, “What should be wrong?”

“I don’t know, you tell me,” he half shrugged, “Is it something about Jo?”

“No, it’s not about her, really,” Castiel shifted his eyes at the short end of the cigarette rolling between his fingers, “Um... she seems nice,” he dropped the left over on the asphalt, “and she’s pretty.”

“Yeah, she is.”

Castiel nodded slightly, wrapping his arms around himself, “Are you... Are you two together or - ?”

Dean chuckled, “No, we’re not,” he tossed the rest of his cigarette on the ground, stepping on it too. “I slept with her maybe twice,” Dean straightened himself and glanced at him with anticipation.

Castiel drew his lips into a thin line. Something inside him shifted after Dean had confessed, he swallowed heavily, choking at those words that pierced right through him. Dean measured him. He knew he was so transparent under Dean’s eyes.

“Are you jealous because of her?” Dean stepped right in front of him, just as close as in the office.

“No,” Castiel stressed too quickly, frowning at the truth he unsuccessfully denied. He noticed that knowing smirk on Dean’s lips and that spark of amusement in his eyes that looked so closely at him. Dean knew it. “Maybe,” Castiel admitted and pressed his back more tightly against the car, adding at least some space between them.

Dean watched him silently, not moving from his spot although his eyes scanned carefully his face. And if he wanted to do something, he didn’t do it. And that was it. Even though Castiel just confessed he would sleep with him, simply saying, Dean did nothing. He could say something, joke about it or get angry at him for saying such thing. But he did nothing. And Castiel understood, because he was holding himself back too, even though it was tearing him apart. But it was too long of this meaningless teasing each other and sometimes he wondered what if.

“Dean are you...,” Castiel looked up at Dean again after he had shifted his gaze on the ground, stopping in mid-sentence when their eyes locked. “Um... forget it,” he quickly looked away.

“I’m what?”

“Just forget it - “ he shook his head slightly.

“Don’t,” Dean stopped him, waiting for Cas eyes to meet his again, “What was it?”

Castiel chewed on his bottom lip, scanning Dean’s face. He sighed, turning his body to Dean with a slight crunch of his shoes sliding against the asphalt, “Are you... Are you gay?”

Castiel knew he had asked a total crap as soon as Dean’s mouth screwed into a smirk which he in a faint attempt tried to choke back. When Dean turned away from him with a chuckle, he recognized the sinking feeling inside him. Well, great, that’s what you get when you are crushing on someone.

“I shouldn’t’ve asked,” he rubbed his forehead. “That was just stupid. Forget I even asked, okay?”

¨Dean cleared his throat turning back at him, corners of his lips still twitching from laugh, “Yeah, that was stupid.”

Castiel looked at him with annoyance. He already knew that. And it just got more frustrating with Dean agreeing .

Dean rubbed the back of his neck, “I mean, you saw Jo and me and you had to heard us.”

“Yeah, I get it - forget it, please,” Castiel rolled his eyes and looked away, wrapping his hands around himself.

“But - “

He curiously glanced at Dean again, waiting for him to continue, “But?” he frowned.

Dean looked down at his shoes, putting his hands inside the pockets of his jeans before looking up again, “you really want to know?”

“Yes,” Castiel said under his breath, more like whispered carefully, inching to Dean slightly.

Dean nodded to himself, “Truth? I don’t even know,” he stamped his shoe on the ground. “Maybe I am,” he half shrugged and studied Cas for a few seconds, “There is someone, one guy, I know I would be with because... he’s just special. Does it like make me gay?”

Castiel hoped that was just a rhetorical question because he couldn’t find any words he should possibly tell him.His heart shivered though as he assumed Dean was walking about him.

“Let’s go,” Dean opened the car door and got inside, expecting Cas to follow.

Castiel tore himself from hi spot and stumbled to the other side, sitting next to Dean. The inside of Impala was exactly same as he remembered, and it had been years since he got a chance to ride with Dean somewhere.


End file.
